did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
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sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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