dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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