evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
