I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
