What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
