The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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