I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
