Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i've created a new STD.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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