shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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