idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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