I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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