he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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