i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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