Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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