I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
