Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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