yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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