Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
