Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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