I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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