Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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