Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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