no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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