You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
