another moral hangover. fuck.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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