R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
