I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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