I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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