Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
