I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
