ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
