Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
