How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
