Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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