I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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