we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize