my mouth tastes like poor choices
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
