Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
only you would photoshop your dick
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
