If i come over, it means nothing
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
