Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
