i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
