either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
