I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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