tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
