I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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