GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
