There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
