Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
