I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
