i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
