Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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