toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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