You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
3 2 1 whiskey
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
All the doctor said was why
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