He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize