Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
